kingstoken | Canon Pain, Fandom Unhappiness and Trying to Let Go

I want to talk for a moment about how canon can hurt you deeply, I will be discussing the most recent episode of The 100, so I'll put rest under the cut

Okay, last night The 100 killed off Marcus Kane in an extremely tragic manner, and I have been a mess ever since. Kane was one of my favourite characters and kabby was my OTP for this series. I knew, from reports that the actor had gotten a part on another series, that this was most likely Marcus' last season. What I did not expect was that his last appearance was going to happen in last night's episode, at the mid-point of the season, and I did not expect how they would chose to end his story. I won't go into details, but I will say I cried on and off for a long time last night and I have cried again this morning. My mother said I need to remember it is just a fictional character, but that doesn't help the pain.

I wanted to write about how hard to is let go of characters you love. I have had some success in enjoying canons where they have killed off beloved characters, the most recent example being GoT. For a year and a half before the final season I was able to prepare myself, because I knew that there would most likely be many deaths, and I although I was still hurt while watching some characters die, I think because I had distanced myself before hand I was able to mitigate the pain. And, since the finale I have been able to enjoy fix-it fics featuring Jorah, Dany and Jaime.

I think the difference with my more recent blow is that I didn't have time to prepare myself and to give myself some emotional distance from the show. Until very recently the fandom was still pretty positive that the actor would eventually return full time to the show, and even when it became obvious that that wasn't the case I think I still was hoping they would find a way, if not to give him a happy ending, to at least do the character justice. I guess I should have know better, because The 100 does not have the best track record with how they handle death. At least he got to say goodbye, but the suffering this will cause Abby is beyond me, and I don't think I want to watch anymore, because I have had enough of watching Abby suffer. I will not be continuing the series at this time for my own mental well being, and maybe someday in the future I will be able to enjoy kabby fic again, but just not now.

Anyways, this post is a bit of a mess, but I just wanted to try express some of my feelings. I think in the future I am going to have to try and mix in some happier canons, although this is hard because I do love sci-fi, and I do love angst, just not the type that ends in death.

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>> I want to talk for a moment about how canon can hurt you deeply, I will be discussing the most recent episode of The 100, so I'll put rest under the cut <<

My sympathies.

Watching Avengers Endgame made me feel variously repulsed and bored, but the ending made me feel used. I decided I won't watch anymore Marvel movies after that. They don't get to treat me that way.

A more famous example is the death of Tara in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, which demonstrates how badly-designed entertainment can be damaging.

>>My mother said I need to remember it is just a fictional character, but that doesn't help the pain.<<

Well that's useless. Your pain is real, even if the character isn't a real person in the world you live in. And the reality of characters is a lot more malleable than most people realize, considering that thoughts give power.

You're better off just dealing with it for what it is: grief. Think about the time you spent with that character, what you enjoyed, what you didn't, what you learned. Sit with the feeling. It'll settle out sooner if you respect it than if you try to stuff it away.

>>I think in the future I am going to have to try and mix in some happier canons, although this is hard because I do love sci-fi, and I do love angst, just not the type that ends in death.<<

The early part of The Orville is good, though it gets darker later on.

Thank you for all your thoughts, and thank you for understanding. I agree that I have been grieving, and it is hard when grieving alone. I have come to accept Kane's death, but have also chosen to reject it, if that makes any sense.

And as only a casual MCU fan I sympathize with your point of view, I have still not watched Endgame, I obviously know what happens because of the internet, and, from what I hear, I don't think I am going to bother.

When it come to the new phase of the MCU the only things I might be tempted by are Thor 4, because I loved Ragnarok, but if there is no Loki I don't know if it will be worth it, because I loved the Thor/Loki dynamic, so who knows. I might also be tempted by the new Hawkeye series because they are introducing Kate Bishop, and I love comics Kate, but I am also worried because how are they going to make this work? MCU Clint and comics Clint are not alike. Anyways, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent about the MCU.

>> Thank you for all your thoughts, and thank you for understanding.<<

I'm glad I could help.

>> I agree that I have been grieving, and it is hard when grieving alone.<<

That's disenfranchised grief -- when other people don't recognize that you have a right to it, which just makes it harder.

https://whatsyourgrief.com/disenfranchised-grief/
https://www.marieclaire.com.au/grieve-fictional-characters-study

>> I have come to accept Kane's death, but have also chosen to reject it, if that makes any sense. <<

Okay.

>> And as only a casual MCU fan I sympathize with your point of view, I have still not watched Endgame, I obviously know what happens because of the internet, and, from what I hear, I don't think I am going to bother. <<

It's a couple hours of variously disturbing, boring, and ultimately pointless violence culminating in the worst nonending I have ever seen. I was particularly creeped out by Bruce beating Hulk. Skip it. I've unsold this movie several times already.

>> When it come to the new phase of the MCU the only things I might be tempted by<<

I've been tempted by some things, but I no longer trust MCU to be entertaining or even meet a basic standard of decent behavior toward its customers.

>> I might also be tempted by the new Hawkeye series because they are introducing Kate Bishop, and I love comics Kate, but I am also worried because how are they going to make this work? MCU Clint and comics Clint are not alike. <<

That's the problem when people writing a cycle don't know they are doing that and mistake it for a cohesive canon. Comics are like the Arthurian Cycle; there's no single version of a character or their storyline. That's okay. But if you don't know what you're doing, you'll screw it up. I'm guessing Hollywood doesn't have many people with a literary degree that would actually tell them how this stuff works. They're too busy saving the cat. >_<

>> Anyways, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent about the MCU.<<

It's okay. Hard to look away from the flaming trainwreck.

>> I have come to accept Kane's death, but have also chosen to reject it, if that makes any sense. <<

When I said that I meant that I have accepted his death on the show, but in my heart he will always be alive and happy on Earth with his friends and the women he loves

That makes sense.

Canon Pain, Fandom Unhappiness and Trying to Let Go

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